Okay, a little background is in order for this pic. A few months ago I was inspired to get some bees. I procrastinated doing so until about a week ago (but I read up on the topic). On Friday I got a starter kit from www.jonesbee.com and assembled it in it’s entirety (took about 6 hours). Once completed, I called and asked that my name be added to the swarm capture list. They told me that it was way too late in the season for swarms and to expect some calls next year. TEN MINUTES LATER I got a call for a swarm. Coincidence? I didn’t think so either.
Armed with my new bee box and my trusty flat-nosed shovel, I arrived at the repair bay of a construction company in the industrial park. Keith, the supervisor, said he expected an old man in a straw hat and rusty pick-up truck, not a young guy in a minivan. I smiled and told him fantastic lies about my years of experience. Long story short, I scraped the brood into the box shown above and tossed my BBQ grill cover on top, threw the whole mess into the minivan and sped away with two stings and about 500 bees. This is destiny! I’m thinking of growing a bee beard like these.
p.s. If you are apiphobic or melissophobic (first is Latin, second is Greek), like Justin (see his comments), consider this article for reassurance regarding my harmless, docile, affable, Maltese bees.
9 Comments
You, sir, are a brave man.
But just a FYI, if you’re expecting me to babysit those bees when you guys are away on vacation, you can forget it. Bees are in my nightmares.
I am astonished, Bri, that you use Wikipedia as your source for information. I thought you were smarter than that. I mean come on, Wikipedia?
Don’t say I didn’t warn ya when your neighbors come knocking because they think their kid got stung by one of your bees and now you have a lawsuit. Is there a line item for that in your homeowners insurance?
Iver has a point about the potential lawsuits. Hmmm. We got an EPI-pen, just in case something like that happens, but the litigious appetites may want more. Okay, here is my response to both of Iver’s topics (getting sued and using Wiki) - COME TO ME WITH SOLUTIONS. Any half-wit can criticize, but a loving brother should only ever make bullet-proof, iron-clad, impervious suggests (that way I don’t have to put any effort forth). So be the man, Iver. What are the fixes?
If I may, my suggestions:
Issue #1) Although I’m not going to build a bridge according to Wikipedia’s information or use is as a dissertation source, Wikipedia is awesome. Where else can I find a brief synopsis of FA Hayek’s early life in 10 seconds?
For a general overview on the irrationality of my fears, I think Wikipedia is perfectly acceptable (taken with a grain of salt). For additional comfort, check the citations, history and/or discussion. Haters, why you gotta hate?
Issue #2) Easy peasy. Or a more humane solution would be to grant them their freedom, far, far away from me. Myanmar, perhaps? This coming from a confessed anti-bee-ite.
In regards to me my apiphobia, I fully understand my little dog Maddy can be more dangerous or inflict more pain than, say, 500 honey bees. Doesn’t matter, I still hate bees. Logic has nothing to do with it.
Also, I’m sure hippos, my #1 animal fear, can be quite affable at times as well [citation needed]. That doesn’t make me fear them any less
That is all.
WOO HOO! Look at that! Justin steps up to the plate and knocks it out of the park! That’s what I’m talkin bout! I hope Iver is taking notes.
The people in bountiful can get a new law passed if they don’t like it! Bees are legal and good for plants. If they cant take care of their kids they should not have kids. For cripes sake! bees are fine until molested, and most kids who will die from a sting have been instructed properly. You don’t need a house sitter when you have bees. just put the hive on the front door step while you you are out of town.
Hippos and bees? Where did you grow up to have such irrational fears? Sharks and Preying Mantis’ , now those are some truly terrifying animals.
Easy now, the Mantis is the friend of the working man and god… Fear him not; for he seeks god he prays all day… whilst preying on bugs that eat our gardens…
buy egg sacks here and your roses will never have mites again.
In response to Justin’s comment about Wikipedia. Where else can you find such information? Well, let me tell you a secret that I use for IRONCLAD information…What’s this ironclad information? The SCRIPTURES (no citation needed). Where else can you get such reliable info? If you can’t get it there, you don’t need it.
In response to what you can do about the bee/lawsuit problem. I propose that you paint all your bees red. That way when a neighbor comes to you with a lawsuit and she says she saw a bee, you can say “that’s obviously not one of my bees, my bees are red”. This might be a little too Jack Handey-ish but hey, if it works it works. If that ain’t good enough for you refer to my suggestion on a source for ironclad info.
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