This discussion was, of course, in reference to Babey Abey. It is fun to look the baby in the eyes and quote the snotty waiter in the French restaraunt scene from the movie Ferris Bueller. It goes like this: “You’re Abe Froman - The Sausage King Of Chicago…?”  etc. Here’s a clip with the tribute to refresh your memory.

As shown above, last season’s shovel was worn down to the nub. So when I stumbled across a broken push shovel and a broken square nosed shovel” I did what any resourceful fellow would. I took the good parts (green handle and steel nose respectively) and combined them. It made me happy. Very happy.

There are few things in life that have the reliability of No. 2 U.S.A. Tempered Steel shovels. The plastic snow shovels from big box stores today are garbage. They don’t make shovels like they used to, and I hate weak shovels. Weak shovels are for weak people and I’m not weak. At least, I don’t think I am. Who knows. But if I have a heart attack while shoveling the snow in my driveway, it will be with a reliable tool in hand.

FHE activity.

Friends, three years ago my currencies trading account was alive and well at REFCO. On October 11, 2005, I learned a valuable lesson regarding the dirty games people play with money.  Today, that company is defunct and I have $0.23 for every $1.00 that was on deposit with them. That was a 76% drawdown that was not factored into my risk assumptions. With a careful eye, I have witnessed a similar depth of corruption in ALL financial dealings and it has rotted out the bottom of this economy. But this time, I’m ready. I am my own central bank, food bank and value analyst. It’s a little thing my ancestors called self-reliance.   

Two cords of Pinion Pine, dead and down, compliments of DD (green saw), RJ (orange saw), and Mr. Davis (Dad and freelance photographer).  It was the best day I’ve had for YEARS. Check out ye olde horse trailer. Just duct tape a few LED flashlights to the nearly rusted-off fenders and TADA! it’s legal on I-15! :-) 

(woodcutting photo is property of Robert J. Davis Family Trust and used here with permission from Trustees)

From a practical perspective, this article is intended to help people from other countries to view my content in their languages of preference. According to my site analytics report, I’ve had visits from USA, UK, UAE, Canada, Netherlands, Malaysia, Israel, Thailand, Singapore, Turkey, Siberia, Greece, etc… Here is the link non-English-speaking people can use to get this post translated - totally free: http://translate.simkl.com/

From a religious/cultural perspective, the title is a pun. In my opinion, the screens we peer through are counterfeit seer stones (or seer gels), and this translating machine is reversing the confounding of tongues that occurred at the Tower of Babel. As we progress into the dispensation of the fullness of times, it makes sense that the globe speak one language (Adamic = Binary?).

In Disney’s version, the innkeeper (villan) is brought to his knees by Louie’s magic stick. We never see him again and are left to assume that bad people get their just desserts and remain at large to prey on less clever commoners. This is a step up from the original story wherein the landlord is beaten unmercifully (and was verbally threated to be killed) by the stick in front of his wife.

In the story by Kimmel, the innkeeper is a woman named Fruma Sarah. After bringing upon herself the hex, she begs for mercy, is delivered from her punishment and promptly returns the valuables to her victim. But this is not where she parts with the victim or the reader, and this is the lesson that impresses me most:

I see in this ending a belief (1) in the ability of any person to change, (2) of every person to forgive and unconditionally love the criminal,  and (3) of all to be of a divine origin. I admire this wise writer and the pattern of his people in the honesty of content and peace it promotes. I mention his people because in another book, they did not whitewash the story of King David - a man who rose to legendary heights, fell to the depths of dreadful wrongdoing, and spent the remainder of his life trying to repair what he’d done. 

Here is what I taught him (and am archiving here for the future reference of my other three boys.  Yes, one plus three is four - I have four boys and one girl - and again, that means I have FIVE KIDS). Please review the following and add your two (s)cents worth of what you would tell your kid about perfume or cologne.

Explanations:

1. The mandate to hold the atomizer 10″-12″ from the object (neck and wrist) came after he took the miniature spritzer of Armani’s “DIAMOND” and proceeded to drench himself with it in the same way we spray him down with mosquito repellent. This is the first rule of odoriferous stuff: never emit too much.

2. Do not smoke - ever. Smoking is bad for you.  In the context of applying cologne, you can be severely burned and end up in a burn unit with the woodsy scent of Hilfiger a la burnt flesh eternally seared into your nostrils. (trying to keep him scared straight on this exaggeration)

3. Vapor Harmful: Again, too much of this stuff is bad. It will cause dizziness, headache or vomiting of yourself or those around you. As the fairer sex have twice the olfactory sensitivity as most men, they are usually the ones to experience these effects first. Think of Pepe Le Pew and Penelope Pussycat then apply the principle of “less is more.”

4. First aid: sometimes the vaporizer gets turned the wrong way and you end up getting a squirt in the eye. In this case, flush extensively with water. I did this once with Aquanet hair spray in the 7th grade and it made the right half of my face swell and turn red for two days.

5. Keep away from children. ”What were they doing in my room?” is no excuse. You have to hide it from Sarah, Timothy and Abraham or it will end up broken, incinerated or lost.

6. (not mentioned on the above Krylon paint can) Find your own scent. If a friend tells you that he/she likes how you smell, look them in the eye, give an appreciative, genuine smile and say “thank you.” (When he gets home from his mish I’ll teach him the cocky/funny response, “Yeah, I get that pick-up line a lot, I wish girls could come up with something more original. So, ya wanna buy me a drink now I suppose?”) (then flash the winning smile). On the other hand, if you are wearing a non-noxious amount and someone doesn’t like it, and says as much, just ignore them. Silence creates the shortest conversations. Bottom line, your scent is an amplification of all that you are: fun, intelligent, happy, engaging, charismatic and charitable. If you act that way when you wear it, others will eventually learn to love it.

7. Never use cologne to cover up BO, dog poop on your shoe, or the odor of a milk product as it sours on upholstery. Oh, and if you spill Obsession in a car, call LeeAnn. I hear she’s got a great way to get it out. Something about a powersprayer at a public car wash facility.

8. Apply only ONE spritz (from 10-12 inches away) to your neck and wrists. (yes, this was mentioned in rule #1, but repetition is the mother of learning).

9. If you get a new cologne for Christmas or your b-day or Valentines day from a girlfriend, immediately smash it on the nearest hard surface, exclaim, “I’m sorry that you don’t like the REAL ME and feel the need to change me,” tell her it’s over, and then try to forget about girls until you get back from your mission.  In fact, do that with any gift from an admirer until you get home from the mish.

I was browsing through the photo updates from pop-in-law and this one just jumped out at me. I was surprised to notice how closely they resemble each other. They both have the same sweet cheek bones and possibly the same nose. Who thinks that Darlene looks young enough to be Sarah’s mom? I do. My mom-in-law is the best. Whenever I hear jokes about mother-in-laws, though I try, I just can’t relate.

My mom says he has my eyes. We need to get this settled. Click the “Comments” link just below this post and share your observations.  Thanks!

After many months of care-free and random posts, I have finally been persuaded to bifurcate my content.

Here is why: My family and friends don’t care for the professional perspectives and my peers in the industry don’t care for the “daddy blogs.” Oh, and I just had to eradicate my first stalker, which was a messy matter.

If you want to read my comments regarding the financial markets and ancillaries, here is the link: www.ticktalklive.com

If you are family or friend, please stick around, because I’m about to serve up pics from the trip to Santa Cruz, and rantings about how annoyed I am getting by everyone exclaiming “You have FIVE KIDS!”

                          
Because genetically, they have some Swiss, but mostly English blood with Danish as a close second. Weird that the flags are so similar, didn’t realize that until just now.

                      
Again, genetics.  German 12.5%,   Albanian 12.5%,   Scottish 6.25%.

         
Netherlands, because I was born and lived my first two years there (no known genetic connection). Mongolia, because we have a lot more in common with them than we realize.

Because this one brings them all together in a civilised way. I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.

Go world!