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Tom Hanks Joins Godmaker Ranks

Here’s the skinny: HBO’s Big Love is Executively Produced by Tom Hanks. Seems the show is about one man and more than one wife. I have never watched it and I don’t subscribe to HBO (or any Porn, for that matter [see earlier posts]). However, as the upcoming episode is in the headlines of the digital papers here in Utah, it got my attention.

While it wasn’t the first thing to come to mind, here is the phrase I have decided upon: ripening in iniquity. The LDS church has suggested that its members not “overreact.” This makes perfect sense. It is nearly impossible to see G-d’s Perfect Justice meted out upon the wicked if we resolve to do it ourselves. That’s the vengeful side of me coming out on that comment. On the flipside, even Ninevah was redeemed and the softer side of me prefers to see reconcilliation instead of another abomination of desolations. 

As a product of at least seven multiple-spouse marriages (starting with Abraham, Issac, etc…), the most recent history I have regarding my revered g-g-grandma is the one where she and her husband braved hostile indian territory and three weeks in a covered wagon (St. George to SLC) - knowing full well that they could be massacred anywhere along the trail - so that that they could be married in the Temple of The Most High God. I doubt that Tom Hanks has the same noble story in mind. No doubt his only purpose is ”entertainment” such as - ” mocking, laughing, pointing fingers” from a great and spacious studio.  

Snowboarding All Day and All Night

Had a great time shredding Wolf Mountain’s slopes today. This pic was snapped as Balboa was heading in to the lodge for warm cocoa with Gav. Goobs and I did two more runs (one from the top lift and one from the half-way-to-top-lift). :-) Feels good to get out with the boys and finally use the lift passes we were given at Christmas.

Two Bountiful Jr. High Teachers Arrested For Sex with Student

Two days after defending the good name and virtue of my home state, two female teachers in my home town get arrested for sex with a student. So here’s what I’m thinking: no more vouching for Utah. Also, forget about defending the body of saints (both teachers were upstanding church members - then again, so was Ragsdale - but that didn’t stop him from shooting his wife 9 times in the back in the chuch parking lot last year), so yeah; I’m growing more and more convinced that the Zion / Babylon polarization is necessary. And honestly, I should have seen it coming. There is a well known prophecy that is worth considering at this juncture:

Prophecy of Heber C Kimball in 1868 about Salt Lake City and the future. (Approx. 130 years ago).

“After a while the Gentiles will gather to this place by the thousands, and Salt Lake will be classed among the wicked cities of the world. A Spirit of speculation and extravagance will take possession of the Saints, and the result will be financial bondage.”

“Persecution comes next, and all true Latter-day Saints will be tested to the limit. Many will apostatize, and others will stand still, not knowing what to do. “Darkness will cover the earth and gross darkness the minds of the people.”

“BEFORE that day comes , however, the Saints will be put to a test that will try the integrity of the best of them. The pressure will become so great that the more righteous among them will cry unto the Lord day and night until deliverance comes.” (Sister Amanda Wilcox narrative, The Last Days by Smith pages 134-138)

Now, I guess I’m just an impatient jerk, but I’m “tested to the limit” already and totally fed up with this place. I’d rather scavenge for Sego Lilly bulbs, Purslane weeds and cactus fruit for my family’s daily prarie soup than have them within 500 miles of the depravity I’ve witnessed these past few months. 

My oldest boy, who is the exact age of the boy involved, had a 50/50 chance of going to the above mentioned Jr. High. When I pulled all of my money from the stock market last year at this time, it was because I was convinced that the environment was unfit for my assets. Right now, I’m feeling the same way about Bountiful, Utah, and America in general. I don’t fit the description of the saints mentioned that sit and wonder what to do. I know what to do - flee Babylon.

Meanwhile, consider the glamorization of children deprived of that which is most sacred and holy - namely, virtue. It is brought to you by Sting / The Police. And if that isn’t enough, look up “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen.   

Utah is NOT the Porn Capital of America

Liars, damned liars, and all of ‘em statisticians. (yep, just made that up). The best lies ever orchestrated are overflowing with dubious and compounded statistics. In my UofU, Basic Research Methods Course (101), Professor Tufts suggested that the motive and intent of the creator of a study is paramount. He jocularly referred to it as the “sniff test.” In essence, if a study stinks of bias, independant verification is in order. While reviewing the propaganda, my olefactory senses were repeatedly stung by Edelman’s attempts at columny. In fact, the last six paragraphs were the most caustic putrification and adulteration (yes, I’m punny) of information I’ve encountered since Hitler’s typification of Jews.

If Benjamin Edelman (with the collusion of three researchers and complicity of eight consultants) is inclined to craft a study that pretends to assert that prayerful and scripture-studying American citizens are significantly more engaged in pornography (which accusation is patently illogical), I’m compelled to confound his clever complexities with a simple independant verification. Take a few seconds to see how contrived his numbers are and the skew of the press.

He mentioned porntube.dotcom, so let’s go with that one (if you think this is a small sample size, let it be remembered that Edelman only used one company for his analysis - so in his words [and I couldn't agree more], “it is difficult to confirm rigorously that this seller is representative” p.215 ).

He mentioned using Alexa for online data. We’ll try Quantcast’s unbiased stats and inference models.

Ben fingers the educated and affluent as highest subscribers to porn.
Quantcast identifies that it is the less-educated and non-affluent as the highest over-all population of consumers of porn.

The following shows that subscribers to porn are totally different than the population of porn consumers. Almost exactly opposite of what Edelman described.


Edelman made a map displaying payers for porn by percentages.
Quantcast shows a map of the highest populations of non-paying porn participants.

From an economic perspective, it’s pity that Edelman lacked the genius to identify ways to capitalize on the massive market of non-paying porn consumers. Instead, he points out the ridiculously obvious (people with more money [always highly correlated with more educated] are more likely to spend it). Brilliant. Instead he decides to target the variables anathema to the census: religion. Figured out his motive yet?

Ben claims to have included “standard demograpic variables” but omits race. Why? Because that particular truth wouldn’t villainize whom he wanted to smear. Think about it, if he identified Afr.Am. and Hisp. as primary subscribers (as shown above) everyone would say, well, those races aren’t majorities in Utah and Alaska so it appears as though this repugnant, pornography-viewing behavior is confined to a relatively insignificant portion of the population and is therefore irrelevant. But for Edelman’s campaign to take effect, he needed to paint some things with broad strokes and omit color altogether in others.

Edelman has one “anonymous” source for subscription and zip code data. This is highly suspicious. How probable is it that the unmentionable source has a monopoly on smut within the regions he wanted to criticise? It is not unthinkable that organized vice is as territorial as organized crime.

Now, to put this in the proper perspective: If the filth-pettling businessmen who read the Harvard Journal of Economic Perspectives are seeking subscribers that are willing to pay for vice, the more educated, affluent, religious demographic could be their target market. However, if the public wants to know which populations indulge in porn because Edelman and the press have you feeling maligned and grossly misrepresented, now you know their game and have unbiased material evidence that places burden of shame where it belongs.

Please share these findings liberally. Oh, and if you want to be ahead of the curve, apprehend Edelmans creation as a well-credentialed document to be referenced by the proponents of gay marriage. Speaking of, gporntube (”g” is for gay) ranks first in affinity sites.

p.s. The entire research report is a page right out of “how to write anti-mormom propaganda” as described by Russell Robe in his book: Persuasion and Perplexity (hard to find). Especially in usage of the tactic known as compounding doubt and the tactic of innuendo.

My Little Ice Breakers

Holiday Papa-made Gifts Revealed

I’m unveiling the Papa-made gifts (mentioned two articles ago) one at a time. Still savoring the sentimental side of the gifts as the pricelessness sinks in.

Sadly, my photographer and his lousy camera are stupids. He (I) couldn’t get a decent photo because he doesn’t know how to use the camera. Therefore, it is impossible to show how shiny the birth-year quarters for Balboa are. It is also impossible to show the truly violet color of the topaz crystals we hewed from Topaz Mountain and kept in the dark to keep them from bleaching white in the sun. Oh, the pics also fail to show the 21 drills bits and 3 grinding grits I used to make massive holes in the head of General Washington.

 

TOPAZ

These are the little gems that Gav, Meg, Balboa and Goobs found when I took them to Topaz Mountain. The best of the above are being fashioned into Christmas gifts for them.

As an example of what can be done with these jewels, notice at the top of picture the peach colored topaz set in a gold clasp and fastened to a delicate gold chain. I found that one during the trip and gave it to baby Bear for her birthday a few months ago. She was sad that she couldn’t join us but I promised to give her the best stone I found. And there it is.

Sneak Peek at Kid’s Christmas Gifts

     Due to their father’s shamefully prolonged unemployment, the Andersons will have a different Christmas this year. First of all, Santa is out and Christ is in. While Santa never really played much of a part in our gifting (only goodies in the stockings came from him), this year he will be forever annihilated. My generosity toward entertaining his nonexistence is nil. On the other hand, my regard toward Christ - from whom I’ve realized tangible and intangible benefits, will be magnified.

     So this morning I’ve been contemplating apparel labels, especially those that say Made in USA or Hecho en Mexico or Fabrique en Malaisie. See, each Christmas gift from papa to child this year is Handmade by Papa. A label won’t be needed to remind them of it - ever. The brand is built into the essence of the gift. The brand values implicit to each say, in a me-to-you way: I know you, I knew you would like this gift, I love you, I want you to always remember that I will always love you. This kind of value and quality did not require a penny from me, it was borne of paternal (protect, provide, preside) love of you as an individual from the moment I laid eyes on you (at birth) through today, the intimacy of a lifetime of serving you, the education and skills I have, lots of time creating the gift while thinking only of you, and intense phsyical effort. In sum, blood, sweat and tears. Where this gift came from, money played no part because this gift comes straight from my heart.  

To Balboa:

To Goobs:

To Bear:

To Wub:

To Froman:

     Okay, the title is a little misleading in that you expected to SEE with your eyes WHAT the kid’s were getting. Chances are, you glimpsed something even better; you FELT with your hearts HOW the kid’s will feel when they open their gifts from me on Christmas morning. At least, I HOPE that is how they’ll feel. Who knows…

Unemployment Benefits

Snowed like crazy yesterday and it brought out the “best ramp-building dad in the world” - per Goobs.

Here’s the little ramp for Wub (who can’t smile in the direction of the sun with his eyes open)

Impressive Progressive President

I’ve never paid attention to politicians. NEVER. But I think I’ll give it a try. The propaganda is getting good enough to get my attention (or I’m desperate enough to want to hear it). I’m pleased to hear that President-elect Obama is dedicated to technology. His pledge to get broadband and computers into public schools is progressive and impressive.

My hope is that this administration remembers that an information society is intangible and that the citizens who participate in the knowledge economy do not produce the physical goods necessary to feed, clothe, shelter, or warm/cool themselves. True infrastructure growth plans must provide agricultural considerations (which haven’t been mentioned) or the fruits of progress will die on the vine.

  

Goob’s Heaven

Two weeks ago Goob begged g-ma Mantua to let him take her 110cc 4-wheeler to his house in Bountiful so he could ride it at the “camel humps.”  Of course she consented and for that he is eternally grateful.  After his first spin around the course he checked in with the pit crew (me) and was asked how he liked it. He said, ”I’m in heaven!”  (Thanks g-ma Mantua!!!) 

My Dthick is on Fire

Bear and Wub took a hike with Papa (me) on Saturday. That night we enjoyed a fire in the back yard. Wub used his hiking stick (from hike earlier that day) for poking the fire. To his surprise, it caught on fire. In his excitement, he hurried over to Mama and exclaimed in his lisp, “My Dthick is on Fire!”

Don’t Call Him Abe Froman

Kym said, “Stop calling him that because then I’ll call him that and soon everyone will start calling him that and then he’ll be stuck with it.”
Brian said, “Great! I hope it sticks! It’s hilarious!

This discussion was, of course, in reference to Babey Abey. It is fun to look the baby in the eyes and quote the snotty waiter in the French restaraunt scene from the movie Ferris Bueller. It goes like this: “You’re Abe Froman - The Sausage King Of Chicago…?”  etc. Here’s a clip with the tribute to refresh your memory.

 

Kym Calls It “FrankenShovel”

2007_shovel_close_up1

when the snow is eye level...

2007 shovel versus new 2008 Frankenshovel

 

frankenshovel and last year\'s shovel

As shown above, last season’s shovel was worn down to the nub. So when I stumbled across a broken push shovel and a broken square nosed shovel” I did what any resourceful fellow would. I took the good parts (green handle and steel nose respectively) and combined them. It made me happy. Very happy.

There are few things in life that have the reliability of No. 2 U.S.A. Tempered Steel shovels. The plastic snow shovels from big box stores today are garbage. They don’t make shovels like they used to, and I hate weak shovels. Weak shovels are for weak people and I’m not weak. At least, I don’t think I am. Who knows. But if I have a heart attack while shoveling the snow in my driveway, it will be with a reliable tool in hand.

When Raw Force Fails, Engineering Prevails

Balboa, Goobah and I just rolled in from our last wood-getting trip of the season. While in the neighborhood of the Davis Estate, the kids and I decided to try to add one more log to the load. Were it not for the keen engineering mind of the pater familius, the feat below wouldn’t have happened.